freak sia~ in my 18 yr of life, tis is the first time i cried on my birthdaee. its actuali ytd after midnight la. dun sae le. sae le onli make mi sad.

ohhh.. today i slept till 3 plus ? hahas. den after tt prepare le mit ter n yishu. den we go town mit lin. n after tt went to city hall mrt mit wei they all. went to marina to eat steamboat.. celebrate my birthdae.. hees. okiee laa. thou we din play until like mad lidat but i oso enjoyed.. quite fun la.. as long as they r there to celebrate wif mi can liaoo. den we play the number game.. loser haf to drink the raw egg. ewww~ hahass. den i tio one time. actuali drink one raw egg nia. tt tupid kelvin laa. sae wad bd girl mus drink 2. den bo bian loh.. swollow two raw eggs. urrghh~ at tt point of time feel like vomitting. hahas. wei n jianhong more farni. they spit back into the cup agn. hahs! thanks gurls. i lurve ya gurls.! n lin n yishu, thanks for ur mini ice cream cake worr. keke.

den nth much lohh. so long nv mit up lian le. become prettier le. nvm next time we study nafa togetehr den can mit up everydae liaos. hehes. hmm.. den.. yishu, lin n mi sit kelvin's car backk to gr den wei they all take mrt. n mit up at gr. bought liquor. hahas. den mi lin n ying buy baron. wa laoo. very bitter siaa~ hahas. hmmm. den tok cock n play games all tis lo.

weeeee~!! very happie. he msged mi. -grins- wish mi happi bd. hahs. actuali i very surprised. i tot he wun send de.. hahas. send mi at 10.52pm. lolz. when eating steamboat tt time about 10 lidat i still tinking tt he wun send mi le. its oredi 10 liaoo. den suddenly very sad.. hahas. den when i received the sms i kip smiling to myself.. even i nv tell dem they oso guess tt its him. lols.

ytd more happi lehz. he chatted wif mi on msn. even though its jus a few sentence. i oso happi. lol. baichi rite. den he sae he going town.. actuali i nv plan to go out de. oredi tell terence i dunwan go out liao. den when i noe he going town i immediately call ter. ask him acc mi go town. den call yishu oso. hahaz.. see whether i got luck to see him anot maa. din expect will see him lo. jus try my luck onli.. den shop until half suddenly saw him. hahas! its like very happi to see him, budden oso like scared to see him. cos dunno wad to sae ma.. heartbeat immediately increase to the highest. hahaa.. hmmm~ i miss u.

will my bd wish come true ? seriously i reali hope it will..
i'll be waiting... i promise. jus wanna tell u tt even if one dae, u find tt there is no one dere for u le, u can sill come n look for mi. cos i will alwaes be waiting for u .. until the dae u want mi back.. u can laugh at my stupidness n sillyness laa. butt.. wads the reason im doing tis for ? simple.. jus becos i <3 u

When the last spring comes and the last flower blooms,I still won't lose my love for you...When the mountains break down and the oceans become dry,you'll still be the only girl in my eyes...I'll love you forever, till death do us part, Baby can'tyou see.....you're the only girl in my heart?!?And if the day ever comes when I'm not here with you,it's only because I passed away.....but I died loving you..... <---- last time he write for mi de... n now its totally a diff story le... in half yr time... can change a person so much... i miss him.


y haf u become so heartless.. cant u feel how much i love u? cant u feel how true is my love for u? its oredi till the extend tt i can do anything for u le. i've heard so much tings... ppl tell mi its not worth it.. sae tt u r cheating on me.. even when we r together.but... i still believe tt at least u once loved me before.. m i deceiving myself or wad they sae is true.. ? i haf oredi endure alot... all i heard from ppl about u.. brks my hart so much. but i jus endure. forgive n forget. i noee... u may be luffing at me.. blaming me... tinking tt tis is my retribution.. i deserved it rite... becos of treating u tis wae last time.. i tink there's no point explaining the reason anymore. cos no matter wad i sae is useless oredi.. if u wanna tink tis wae.... i cant stop u. but i jus wan to tell u. u haf utterly brk my hart... until no words could describe how i feel.


im jus living for the sake of living now.. my world is without colour now. it used to be so colourful... wif my beloved n sistaz wif mi. half yrs ago.... sum little tings could actualli change a person's life.. fate... i tried to hate u. but i cant. i jus love u. love u for who u r.. accept ur everything.. but wads the point now. hai....


ytd go baobei hse drink agn. onli 2 of us drink. but nv get drunk.. today one plus den go home. go work. so meaningless.

for so many sleepless nights i cried in vain... tinking i might go insane. becos i can hardly bear the pain... knowing u wun come backAGAIN.

*xiang xing ni zhi shi pa shang hai wo. bu shi pian wo. hen ai guo shui hui she de*

well. i got tings to update agn. its over between us. sad rite.. but since i chose it tis wae.. den....
hai


n saw smth in friendster jus now.. wtf.... i dun tink tt bitch got the right to sae mi lors. YOU BITCH! but anywae, i dun care bout wad others tink of mi.. u wanna sae i bitch, cheap, cheat other ppl's feelings... all up to u... as long as.. i noe wad im doing.... n its my life.. u dun haf to interfere.. i like to live tis wae wad can u do ? wadever la horr.. not interested la..

i seem to haf lost the whole world.. i dunno y.. i looked around... i onli saw myself standing in the middle... no cars... no ppl... nothing.. jus me. my mind is blank now. someone pls guide me.. daddy tell mi... na de qi yao fang de xia... hais. jus now i bth.. cry in my daddy's car... he asked mi wad happened.. so i explained everything to him... i expect him to scold mi de.. but he did not.. he console me.. ask mi not to tink so much.. i love u daddy... i'm reali feeling very down noww.....


i wonder to myself... y mus i do all tis ? y mus i do all tis tings ? lidat im jus like the other low down bitch wad... like make myself so cheap... dunno laa.. gods in heaven... pls wake mi up.. i dunno wad im doing...

heh heh ` im back agn.. alwaes lazy to blog.. now not lazy den come n blog .. heez.. wooo.. tis few daes alot of tings to sae.. but lazy to type here la.. but tt dae happening sia.. lol.. hehe.. very fun.. i wish tt on my birthdae at nite can go dou feng again.. hehe.. hmm.. everydae work n work.. very tired sia.. life seemed to become so meaningless after i start working.. everydae standard routine wan... hais.. siann... yeahh.. sun i off.. den going to eat sakae sushi wif him n ter. either at cine or heeren baa.. but next week no more off dae le.... tis few daes after work alwaes go greenridge slackk.. n tok cock.. lol.. dun feel like going home again... aiyer.. i tink i stop here .... today dun haf momentum to write.. hahas!


* not fated to be *

arghhhh!!!! fuckkk... jus kill me cans. i dunno wtf i tinkingg..... haii... terence sae " bu xiang jiu bu tong le" .. but.... y do i still feel the pain.. ? i should be contented wif wad i haf now.. yaa.. i m satisfied wif wad i haf noww.. but... aiya.. duno laa.. i cant control my mind.. ber... its the past oredi.. y cant u jus stop tinking.. i oso wish i can stop tinking.. but all tis are beyond my control wad.. i seriously nid to do smth bout it.. tis cant go on.. or else i will go crazy.. the onli wae is to end my life.. but i cant do tat.! wtf... its been half a yr le... omg... if tis carries on.. i wun noe wad will happen to me.. i mite go n do some crazy tings again... my aunty ask mi if i wanna go australia anot.. i wanna go.. i wanna leave tis place.. at least let mi cool down alone for a moment.. but ... no money.. daddy oso no money..

=....( the feeling jus sucks.


maybe i deserved it...