and when she speaks
Friday, July 29, 2005
damn freakin tired! didnt have time to come online tis few daes. jus too tired.. after skul, work.. after work, come hm.. hmwk.. till midnite.. den 6am mus wake up again. arghhh~ cant go on lyk tis. cant take it siaa.. hope tt one month faster pass.. so tt i wun haf to work anymoree.. sian. jus received ken's letter le. suay sia.. my dad opened e letter. hahas. den kip asking tis n tat. told him is my fren den he sae y ur fren call u dear? lol... stunned. dunno how to reply him.. hmm.. jus now his dad called mi.. asked mi to persuade him to be a gud boi when he come out.. aiyo.. stressed sia. now i dunno how le. dunno wan to continue to wait for him to come out anot.. we were jus tgt for 3 daes den he go in le loh.. his world is totally different from mine. i cant reali accept wif his wae lo. ji tao ah beng. not my type... but he like pin so much hopes in mi. dunno how to tell him oso. fan arh.... den nowadaes dunno y [..] weird weird de. dunno how to react oso sia. everytime act blur.. hahas. =x dunno how to react ma. so jus treat as nth happen lo. dunno oso la. guys are so weird.. dunno wad r they tinking. tis few daes oso nth happening la. so many jus make my entry short n go slp le. verrrrrrry tired. i nid some gud rest. tml still got work. nites ppl. slp tite.! -hugs-
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HER
thoughts
9:16 AM;;
Sunday, July 24, 2005
very lazy to blog siaa..... lets start from thurs.Thursafter skul. met ah lin n ah tan go bugis makan. walk walk. den go police station to identify tt person. yea. caught tt person le. dunno wad punishments will he get la. but at least more relieved tt he kena caught le. or else i will become very paranoid. scared tis n tat. esp when i go in e lift. lols. omg he's jus 16 lorr. reali brought shame to his family. sickening ass! serve ya rite. show mi ur bird summore i cut it away den ya noe. haha. =x Frihappening dae. was actuali a fine dae for mi. but... my dear msged mi when i was studying. sae he gg overseas. for about a month. got dunno wad mission. i was like.. huh.. y so sudden. i knew smth is wrong. den he told mi honestly tt he's actuali gg in le... i was shock lo... hai.. dunno wan ke lian him or sae he orbi.. told him for how many times le dunno how to listen... alwaes escape from army... aiyo.. qi si wo loh. den after skul ... he call mi. sae he request from his officer tt i go in to see him for e last time den he guai guai go inside. officer bo bian come my skul fetch mi to his camp lo. tok to him for about 1 hr lidat. hais. duno how to describe la. how old liao still dunno how to tink. kip doing stupid tings... asked mi whether i will wait not. i oso duno how to ans sia. haii. tis few daes very fan la. tt dae ji tao no mood. first time see him lidat... hope the one month faster pass..... no one quarrel wif mi.. no one make mi angry.... no one make mi luff... abit not used to it... i oso dunno wad i'm tinking la. we'll see bout it. fan ah! Satytd. celebration for my baobei terence's bd... quite fun la.. but i joined them later.. cos i haf to work. so after i knock off den i go. bought absolute vodka n lotsa beers... but ytd no feelin.. not fun de.. haha. ytd too many tings to sae le la. cant finish. jus hope tt ter is happi ytd can le.. though we did not do anything.. but hope he enjoy lo.. all those silly n funny tings we done.. haahaa.. they all went home. i ton at his hse. slept at today morning 8 plus sia. den slp till today evening 5 plus. den go home... bath all tis le den slack all the wae lo. siann.. tml haf to go skul. arghh.. mus wake up early agn... everydae study work study work. im going bonkers!!! farkkk.--------------------------------------------------------i am so pissed offf..... my family members dun even trust mi. fark la. u are my brother... y will i wan to steal ur moneyy?????? even if im left wif a coin.. i wil even let myself starve den to STEAL. i noe u didnt pinpoint on mi... but y mus u suspect mi? u've been living wif mi for 18 bloody years. dun u uds mi.? am i such a person ? i hereby swear to all the gods in heaven if i ever steal his money, i get bang by car lo. i didnt steal den wad m i scared of ? dunno laa... hai... y is this world so cruel... im not angry. im utterly disappointed..and...... y is tis world so fake!! i reali dun uds y THEY mus do tis lo.... is it everytime its a coincidence or its on purpose??????? wadeverrrrrr. doesnt matter to mi anymore.....
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HER
thoughts
8:07 AM;;
Saturday, July 16, 2005
wad the fark! nabei cheebye. i was like a stupid sitting down dere for one hr plus ALONE! did they even notice tat? wa kaoz. nv tot tt will end up tis wae lors. i swear i will NEVER go clubbing wif u all again. no more next time... wtf lors. i was like a stupid sitting down dere... kip smoking... drinking.. sms... for one hour plus lor. aiya.. suan le laa.. my so call 'sisters' oredi lidat liao... haiz. even e guy tt i just noe today... oso will sae nid to come n acc mi anot. he stay tampines lo.. even sae he help mi pay cab fare la. cos i told him i got no money wif mi. but i told him nvm. argghhh` i bth le. left the club early. my hp batt is EMPTY. no cash. cant find atm. cant find bus stop. cant take cab. u noe wad??? i cant find the bus stop to take NR3. n i WALK ALONE ALL THE WAE FROM BOAT QUAY TO PS! nbcb. n ps oso no NR3 lo. . den continue walking down the road.. following the normal bus route. haiz.. u noe how long is the journey ma... walk lehhhh.. alone.. in the middle of the nite.. its from boat quay to ps lor! walkin myself, feeling very helpless n scared. crying while walking. not becos they did tis to mi lor. is becos i cant find my wae home. i dunno where am i.. until i walk to the 'regency house' a so call hotel.. bo bian.. i reali got no strength to walk le. go in n borrow fone. call kelvin.when i call him he sae he on the wae wan to fetch wei they all.. den i sian diao.. but i bo bian. or else i cant go home le.. so ask him fetch mi first.. while waiting for him, tok to the person tt i borrow fone from. even tt person oso sae lorr. " how can ur frens leave u alone? alamak dunno how u walk from boat quay to here sia.. so far.. midnite le so dangerous.. y ur frens nv follow u.." haiz.. he oso noe how to lidat sae lo. . even terence oso leave mi alone le lor. disappointed. in all of u! when kel reach le i faster get into car. suddenly realised how important he is. if i cant find him, u imagine... m i going to stay at the hotel till morning? die at orchard ? the moment i get into the car cry le. like lil kids lost their wae home den suddenly found their parents tt kind of feeling.. he still will sayang mi. ask mi wad happen. so lucky to haf him. reali v tulan lo. in the end still mus go back to boat quay to fetch dem agn. nv even look at their face. tulan! maybe i should look up the real meaning of 'friends' in dictionary. not jus a sorry can cure everything de lors. if everything can solved by sorry i wun be troubled by so many things now liao. suddenly tink tt i very ke lian.kel drop mi off at my hse bus stop. near senja lrt wan.. so i walk home from bus stop. its about 3am lidat le. reach my hse dwnstair. saw a malay guy. arnd our age. very weird lo.. he is actuali walking away liao le.. but he saw mi he quickly walk towards me. i got a very stong feeling tt smth is wrong liao lo.. faster walk into e lift n quickly close the door. when the door about to close le he run n open e lift. very scared liao lo.. u imagine.. im alone leh.. so late liao.. den the door open le he sae " i show u smth" den he show mi his freakin disgustin private part. WTF! reali v scared... until my legs turn jelly le. den i scream .. den he suddenly kip on luffing n i quickly close the door lift le. hais.. imagine if he come inside the lift... wad will happen to mi..... i reali dunnoo... cry agn.... haiz. tell my mama. den my mama go n call e police. still come and take down statement siaa.. so ma fan... but the feeling is reali cant be described de lor. tis is the first time i encounter tis kinda tings.. i reali cant forget the scenario jus now.. very scary... sobs. no one help mi.. haiii. unlucky dae. i wun forget wad happened jus now. how helpless i am. n how happi are dem enjoying.. u try walking alone from boat quay to ps in the middle of the nite without hp n cash. n u will uds how i feel. swear i wun let it happen agn. dunwan to be a fool agn. freakin angry!
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HER
thoughts
2:59 PM;;
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
ohhhhh~ my time is up. game over le. anywae, *ku guo jiu suan le* reali mus absorb tis sentence into my mind. wake up wake up! he dun love u at all! dun be stupid anymore. hais. breakdown. wadever. cant be bothered anymore. i said before. if he reali give up i will not be back anymore. so over my dead body i oso wun be like last time le. maybe i shld open up my hart n let u see how many scars u haf left behind. argh, u wun be bothered anywae. loving someone, doesnt need to be wif tat person. as long as tt person is happi, tt wuld be enuff. but since he treat mi tis wae, i dun tink there's a nid to do so. from today onwards, he wan to find how many gurls, models la or wadever shit la. u all dun haf to tell mi le. i dun wanna noe. let him be. its none of my business oredi. i admit i will still love him, but dun worry. i will make myself hate him. he forced me de lo. na de qi yao fang de xia. mian qiang shi mei you xing fu de. now jus concentrate on my studies can le. guys are jerks. none of dem can be trusted. boooo~hell to ya.
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HER
thoughts
10:07 AM;;
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
why am i so useless. y cant i handle my problems? *pray* hope the ans i get from him is not negative. but if it reali is, den maybe time is up. tis is fate. dun avoid reality. face it bravely. i can do it. i hope so. hmmm. skul start le. met some new buddies. lucky im not alone. shld concentrate on my studies le. got a long wae to go. got alot more things to learn. its my sis ailian's birthdae. hope she is happi n hope she n her ah hong will last long long. *envy*jus bought a new mp3 player on sat. n half of my money gone. but nvm, im happi wif it. -grins- im seriously lack of sleep. so haf to slp early le. im still working. hais. sometimes after skul at 5.30 still mus rush to far east n start at 6. it wil be tiring for mi. maybe i will be quitting soon. but i cant bear to leave tt job. its a very nice job. will see first ba. haii. i dun feel any better. im in a dark room with no light. -total darkness. ending here. go slp le. nitez.
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HER
thoughts
10:32 AM;;
Thursday, July 07, 2005
wey heyy~ my blog going to seh gor liao. tis few daes seldom online.. very busy.. busy enjoying myself.. hahas~ its 3.02am liao i still haben slp. have to wake up at 6.30am lorss. tml got orientation. muz go skul. den next mondae start skul le. finally~ ppl dunno start skul until where liao we jus start onli.. sianz.. ytd go chinablack. hahas. quite fun laa. but very crowded.. alot ppl.. my motive is to go dere n drink onli. lol. cheap maa.. one jug 10 bucks nia. den i play '5, 10' wif the malay guy. ''wan'' kip on drinking.. lols. he not bad laa. sae next time wan to fetch mi on his bike. hees. tink ytd i drink abit too much. i one person drink about 3 jugs lidat? onli noe very giddy... den vomit. hahas. den 'sumone' send mi home.. n tts all. hahas. i've been drinking continuously for dunno how many daes liao.. tink about one week lidat.. everydae drink sia.. im crazy. ohya~ tis few daes my eye hurt sia when "they're" arnd.. later i seh ba jiam how ? hahass. aiyo.. u touch mi.. i touch u... lol.. bth.. hahas. aiyo.. guys cannot be trusted de laa... very contradicting.. saying this but doing that ? hmmm. tts guys. all they nid is sumone hu can satisfy dem. its true. its hard to find one tt will love u with all his hart ... n wan nth else but jus ur HART. ewww. impression has oredi dropped to zero. tsk tsk. den "all the best" to both of dem ba. hehee.. i have my dearest boy can liao. the other tings , none of my business. =phmm.. happi liao lo.. off dae tio burn liao.. den next week start skul liao.. reali dun nid to go out wif him liao la... everytime ask him when he free alwaes nv reply to my Q.. haiz. nv reply to my q i oso dunno when he free. so byebye to my off dae. suan le lo. i tink i die on the street one dae he oso wun noe de. i wan to relac liao laa. kip clinging on so tite he onli will find mi fan lo. everydae sad sad for wad sia.. bad for health.. lols... since he so busy.. i guess tis few daes i wun pester him.. wait till he free den sae lo . or else i machiam thick skin lidat.. hahas... k la.. sae so much oso no use la.. its time to slp.. i left 3 more hrs to slp. gtg le. tata~ !
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HER
thoughts
12:01 PM;;
Sunday, July 03, 2005
back le. nth much to blog oso. not in a gud mood. for many daes le.... will not sae much about it.. i will not complain.. i will not regret.. cos i chose tis path myself. i have to continue walking .. even if im tired... even i got no more strength to walk.. it may be abit tough.. but.. i will not turn back.. jus continue walking .... walking.. haiss.. onli heaven knows... how pain i feel n exactly wads going on... though tings r not going on smoothly for us... but.. im still glad to haf him. little tings tat he sae... is oredi enuff.. i will be very contented.. jus a simple sms.. wuld brighten up my dae.. shall not sae much. i've tried my very best. pls give each other a chance to save tis relationship. to be like last time... i dunwan to have him, but not his hart. hais. ='(a promise to myself... i will neva let him go... unless he ask mi to do so. den i will reali let go.. n neva come back again... a kite with a broken string flying up high in the air will neva come back. so... pls... dun ask mi to let u go.*yong wei xiao lai yan gai xin li de bei shang . . .*
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HER
thoughts
11:58 AM;;
