and when she speaks
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
wooo. im back to normal. hmmm.. nth to do so i jus browse thru my previous chat logs. too bored oredi... happened to browse thru jon's chat log. n i saw a great great diff. from when we're tgt till parted. hahaa. anywae, he teached me my life's most important lesson. n wad he sae is actuali rite...ur true frens will not force u to do tings tat u dun wanna do! tats bloody true man.. but anywae, its alrite la.. im oso left wif nth oredi.. frens? i onli haf kailin, yishu n terence. wads more is everyone of us haf our own tings to do. i seldom contact ter now. my best fren.. hai.. lin n shu oso got their own tings to do.. so if kel is not arnd...i tink i dunno wad to do le... now, i've learned how to tolerate, how to express out my feelings, how to give in.. n most importantly! how to cherish..... i reali learned it.. becos i've experienced the feeling of losing someone hu is SO dear to u. n becos once u've lost it, it wun be back agn.. even if u get back.... everything wun be the same agn.. it wun... so i mus cherish wadeva i haf now.. esp my mr chiu. n my pathetic lil small circle of frens.. hahaa.. poor me... but i dun bear grudges la.. i reali dun. life is so short onli.. if i reali wan to bear grudges den i'll have alot of enemies liao lo... not so free.. even thou my frens backstabbed me. leave me alone... its jus tt i reali got no motivation to tok to dem.. dunno wad to sae to dem.. so its better not to tok. as for him, even thou he made my life REALI miserable...... i oso dun feel like remembering it liao la.. even hope tt we can still be normal frens.. wads wrong wif being frens after a brk up? its better to haf 1 more fren den one more foe. but tts quite impossible la hor ? haha.after jon, i told myself.. NEVER to fall so deep... when i get into a relationship.. NEVER. once u stepped too deep.. it will be diff to step out.. but once again... i tink i've fallen too deep for now... cos im so in love wif him... he better dun leave me... so far everything is still very fine... 2 mths n we haven quarrelled yet. woo i brk record! hahaa.. but hu noes wad will happen in the future... dun dare to tink oso.. hai... 28 is reaching. 8 more daes! i tink i reali mus go pray liao la..sound very long winded todae.. hahaa.. suddenly sae tis kinda tings... cos alot of tings came thru my mind ma.. so i mus sae... heard before tis sentence " maybe god wants us to meet a few wrong ppl before meeting e rite wan. so tat when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.. " very true huh.. ? how come i become so pathetic? dun tink too much ba... to fall in love is always easy...to start a relationship is always simple...to build it, is always tough...to maintain it, is 'better said than done'... to break off, is 'easier said than done'... to remain friends after u broke off, is never possible... to forget the memories is 'always doing but never succeeding'... to heal the pain within is hard and tough and never near simple... but one has to try to heal your own heart... the heart belongs to u... if u don't heal it and have a space for someone to walk in, the heart will always be sealed, memories will never be forgotten, the pain will never go, and u will never move on from where u started...my super long entry..... hehehe..
left
HER
thoughts
12:19 PM;;
