HAI. I AM FUCKING FRUSTRATED. FUCKING STRESSED. N CONFUSED. I FELT SO NUMB. ABOUT EVERYTHING. every single bit of my tinking changed. no longer last time tt tinking. tat silly tinking of mine.. hahaha.. it will nv come true. n it will even demolish sooner or later. the road is still long la.... who noes wad will happen in the future... my tinking might change again as i grow up. anywae i will nv ever let myself be tied up. i got my freedom to choose wad to do... hais... serious case.

lost of words. call me a bitch.

wads happening to us... i duno i duno duno duno duno........ i duno the problem lies where... maybe me.. i reali duno. wad should i do nw.. i oso duno... fuck... i hate mahjong. mahjong starts everything. not becos of tt, we will still be happy nw. i can see the big dif. from a happy couple to.... i duno hw to describe... duno la. dunwanna care anymore... i dun even noe how im feeling nw. sad? confused? irritated? wadever i dunno la! hai.

i did two good deeds on fri. felt so happy after helping ppl. haha! =)

going to athena's 21 bd tml. at goldust, orchard tower. but got no idea wad is tt.. den will be meeting audrey at 6pm. going straight after skul.. till 11 plus ba. hai next dae got skul again.. mus wake up at 6.

feeling moody la....

so tiring n boring nw. in lab having my pre press lesson. dun even noe wad he's toking about. like toking to himself. argh.. feeling damn hungry n tired. slept in e bus jus nw. duno if i've lost my image anot, hahhaa. cos i slept till like die lidat...

hmmm.. i wanna eat! stupid erica. alwaes nv come. u better dun come forever. u come i fuck u. hahahaha. u chicken everytime sae wanna come but din come n leave me alone! today jack oso din come. heng its only 3 hr lesson.. shit u shit u ! hate u lah. arghhh..

im boring can!! assholes. yea yeah.. going out wif my irritating darling lin later. hohoho. wanna go shop shop shop! haven buy my NY clothes yet so later i'll shop till i broke k . dun worry lin, i'll bring a million bucks dere. wahahha. cant wait to go shop now. but its only 9.39am.

hmmm dunno wad to blog ald.. jus to find smth to do. cos i duno wad to do in class...

Im jus so lazy & tired... didnt haf enuff slp since skul started.. i haf to dig myself out of my comfy bed everydae. so torturing! i wish could continue sleeping. but if i continue, den u'll noe wad will happen. hmmm.. seems like my life haf became ABIT more livelier den few daes ago ba. dunno ?

feeling v confused recently. i reali duno wad to do. let god decide la. jus hope dat everything will turn out to be better for us. -sigh

i cant wait to go clubbing. jus chatted wif mon n we planned going dwn to MOS one of tis daes. we'll see when again. tts my dream place man. wanna go dere. will ask iqbal go too. den i wun be tt lonely. hahaha. clubbing wif dem is fun too! wun forget how crazily we danced tt time. hee. still love 1T=)

wa.. e last time i club is few months ago ald. at chinablack... see how good i am. been a good gurl for so many months. hardly go out.. wa lao.. dun seemed to be like me! if its last time, i stay in e hse for 2 daes i will go crazy ald. now, i stay at home for few weeks le. hahaa.. i wan more frens!!

i wanna be a good gurl nw. dun wanna skip any lessons, n even lecture. haha.. anywae its jus an hr wad. i dun mind staying there though its boring. i jus wan my attendence to be dere. so i'll be going for every lecture. unless i haf smth important or i reali feel like dying tt dae la. haha.. im bored! k la. shall stop hre. too tired. eyes half open nw. take care guys!

说爱我, 用你的手心温暖我, 就算你不能证明爱我能爱多久. 我知道你想过, 我要的并不多.

=(

today so sotong. skul started at 10 but i tot is 830. i even reached at 820. wth.. so waitd in library and used lappy. ytd smth happened between my parents. duno hw oso la. how i wish i haf a happy family.. i really hope tt it can happen.....

i've got no gurlfrens. y izit i haf more guy frens den gurls. y can i get along well wif gurls in class? i only got 2 frens in class. guys. excluding erica, i totally got no gurl fren in class. not even one . tats all. am i reali tt hard to get along or communicate wif? im not wad u tink. my looks alwaes mislead ppl tt im a proud n unfrenly 'ah lian' but tts not me lo. i cant stand the wae my classmates look at me. n duno y ppl who dun uds me well alwaes tink tt im a bitchy slut tt is so sui bian. i dun uds wad makes dem tink tt wae. duno la. fuck dem all la.

sigh

can u make me feel tt i am important ? u sucks~ making me upset again. can u gif me the happiness tat i need RIGHT NOW? heart ald feeling so empty. but u still make it worse. is tat so diffcult? is other unnessecary things more imp den me..... i said upteen times. dun sae sorry. the more u sae it the more i hate it. dun disappoint me. i reali put alot of hopes in us.

depression back agn. i need care and concern.

today like alot ppl nv go skul. hahs. me, lin and eileen nv go skul. the lins agn. skul started at 8.30. and i set like 10 alarms.. shld be waking up at 6 de. plus dear called me 3 times at 6am. but i swear i didnt hear any alarms or hp ringing.. i didnt hear any single noise. omg. wad happened.. but suddenly jump up at 7.50..

immediately rush to bath.. but when i come out of bathroom ald 8 plus le. i prepare v long wan. today only 3 hrs lesson.. so if i go cfm is waste time. cos by e time i reach its ald duno wad time le. den today combine class.. if i go in so late buay paiseh ah.. so nv go lo. hai.. wanted to go de. missed one lesson agn. how can i do tis. mum n bro scolded me for not being responsible..

i locked my door. and continue sleeping. i duno my mum knocked on e door. when i wake up my bro tell me my mum tot i died in my room ald. cos totally no response. hahaha. i oso tink i slp till like i die lidat. so i gonna slp early.. tml mus wake up early agn! arghh.

miss him leh. few daes nv see him le. tt dae went to see kingkong n eat free swensens.! hohoho. nicey~ damn full.

i reali duno wad to do le.? shall see wad will happen ba.

i really hate my class. day by day its getting deeper. all isolate me. wa lao.. im a loner... so ke lian. if dun haf erica really duno wad to do in class. go in tat class oso sian lor. everyone gif a face. sucks. lke i owe dem lidat.. sometimes wanna tok to dem oso sian. wan to tok to dem but they gif me a black face. haii.. everytime lidat wan. when erica's not here yet, im alone de. got 3 rows everytime im e only one sitting in one row. wtf. 2 and a half yr more sia. shit. hai...

today really feel so sad lor. its raining. n i got no umbrella. haven had my breakfast. jus dismissed from skul. i dun wanna eat alone... n i dunwan to get drenched. called everyone's hp. all either nv ans, or got class, or at other places. haii... reali duno wanna go where. called dear but he's working. =( den pekchek lo. tinking of walk in e rain suan le. damn damn sad. in skul oso no frens le. argh! den walking away angrily. suddenly hearded someone shout my name. i tot its my other frens, but to my surprise its ly. den she sheltered me to traffic light. hmmm... feel kinda weird at tt moment... realli dunno wad to sae.. but anywae still thanks to her.

im getting to hate skul more n more each dae. now going to skul, my only motive is to learn wad i should learn.. n strive my best.. i wnana be e best.. dun wanna slack le. tats all ba. hai.. .

realli v moody tis few daes. miss lin! so many daes nv see her.

IM ALL ALONE! hai.

will 2006 be a better yr? i dun tink so! fark off!

forgive and forget?

NO ONE CAN SNATCH HIM AWAY FROM ME.

my honey, pls make sure u do wad u say. u cant leave me im gonna stick wif u forever....

wanted to be happy but once again, i cant. no one could ever uds tis. i'm feeling all alone again.

everything suck. suck suck. SUCKS! feel like crying but i gonna be strong...

this world had became so ugly.

had a strong feeling tat everything gonna change soon. something is very very wrong.

fliashfkjasldfja slfjsldkajfasdlfjsdlvacsvnasldjfaoeslvknhaslnfsldjvsdlfjsljfsdljfslnvsljfasjgsdlnfgas;lgnadfgfasd;ghfdoigndflgjbnasfnsdlgnfdljgnsangaslngksfiognasdlngkdlfngaligjsdlfknsv l lfksdsdlnfvasl;nfslfknlsfnslnfksdgigigigflv,mdfvklsfnasl;ngsgnk!! PEKCHEK!

skipped lecture. shopped wif lian. luff till intestine almost burst. spend money agn. shit man~

i lack of slp sia. i need sleep!

my class sucks. disappointed. 1T is alwaes the best. best in nafa. hoho.

boring~

i have erica. erica have me. thats all. =(


FUCK TO THE WHOLE WORLD. I HATE MEMORIES.



agree wif lian~ want to forget everyone one of u. every single memory.

cos..

never the same. anymore-

they said that i changed alot.

i tink that they changed alot.

so who actually changed ?

dunno. perhaps both.

happy new year everyone.

so fast its ald 2006. good la.. cos everything in 2005 suck. hope 2006 will be better. everyone is saying a new year and its a new start. but izit true? can we really throw unpleasent things? even if i can... can THE OTHERS do it? wadeverr. i wanna be a better person. all those unpleasent memories, painful experiences, lonely moments, all gone. mus look further... we've all grown up.. turning 19 tis yr le. shouldnt calculate bout those stuffs anymore ya. i wanna live my live to the fullest. i wanna enjoy my teenage yrs. not only jus wif bf. but i wan to enjoy it tgt wif bf n frens. we live only once lor. if we wanna keep carrying past tings to blame each other, i tink it'll be a never ending ting. ppl can enjoy n go out in a big group, y cant i ? so mus kan kai yi dian. dun be so petty. at least next time when i turn old, i tink back, at least still got very beautiful memories ma. if my teenage yrs jus past like ( wat im living nw ) , can bang the wall liao lo. daddy sae, we can haf a lot of frens. diff kind of frens. it doesnt need to be a fren tt u haf to confide to. oso can be frens ma.. theres only afew frens tt u can reali sit dwn n haf a hart to hart tok.

so, i will let EVERY LITTLE single hatred la, or unpleasent tings go. tis yr. peaceful... no conflicts.. no anything... hmmm.. tml skul reopen le. cant believe it lor. like suddenly everything became so fast. haha... shit lors. forget to buy concession. arghh..

gonna dye my hair tml. hope it wun turn out to be like shit. like KIMAGE. sucks like hell. but its done by students la. sucks lor. sacrifice my precious hair. hahaa... nvm.. im damn tired tis few daes... really tired... can i slp for like one month? i need some sleep lors. arggh, skul reopen le cant slp for long hrs agn. =(

okiie, nth more to blog. bb!