and when she speaks
Saturday, May 20, 2006
life is still as boring. no one reali needs her except her family. everyone seems so fake. or its when they need her den they will find her. towards tis world, she ald feels nth. as long as her family is wif her, she will still survive. she can now survive without frens and guys. becos she will nv noe who is the next one that wans to hurt her. she will stand strong! nothing's gonna beat her down.. i need nobody now. she suddenly feel that the only guy that will still care for her now, is kelvin. but she still treats him as her fren. at least i still haf a fren worth having. im reali dying at home... cant go on like this. most probably will be going out alone tml. though i dun haf the money to shop, but i jus need some fresh air. cant stay at home. everyone is busy wif their own stuffs. busy wif skul work, busy wif their bf.. their new frens.. etc. only me.. im very free.... let me tell u this... u have reali hurt me very deeply.. u're jus like stabbing me to put me in pain but i jus couldnt die. well, he totally removed all our pics from friendster... from today onwards, i reali got nth to do wif u ald. wads wrong wif leaving it for memories.. even though its over. u asked me whether we could be like last time. let me tell u.. NO. i could nv ever face u again. the pain that u gave me is diff from the other guys... u've nv hurt me before, tis is the first and last time, and it sure is a great blow to me. let me bid goodbye to u. its not becos i think that after breaking up and we cant be frens anymore... its becos i reali couldnt accept the wae u behave, u are reali not u ald.. the u that i knew has ald died. yes, im crying now... but tis is reli the last time i will cry for u. im gonna be strong. no use crying over spilled milk. since u left on ur own will, dun come back AGAIN. i repeat. dun enter my life again. i dun care how u think if u gonna see tis entry. u've reali cut me deep. i've got nth to do wif u anymore. memories will jus be memories n no point going back. wish u all the best. i reli felt like im a nobody anymore. from today onwards, i live for myself. i get wad i wan. fulfill all my wishes. all by myself... guys, dun get near me. u guys stinks. i'll kill u if anyone of u touch me. tis entry is reali typed all from the bottom of my heart. i did not hide anything or try not to sae anything. im typing wadever that im feeling now. life's a bitch. seriously speaking, kelvin is reali a nice guy. though he is childish and alwaes doing actions that makes me angry. at least he ald show his another side of him. unlike many guys, only show their good side. which is.. SO FAKE. dun come and tell me ' see la.. now regret la.. last time dun noe how to treasure him'. let me tell u.. i did not regret.... to continue a relationship wif only one side of love is useless.. jus like we need 2 hands to clap... its jus that.. im reali grateful. becos he did not hide. he show me his true side. he gave me his love. and pamper me. im saying all this becos.. only when u're down.. den u noe who is true to u.. at least he is. i made him suffer that time but he did not blame me.. thanks so much..... ='( why dont i noe how to appreciate the good wans.. and alwaes worship the bad wans as god? now i reali noe how to see ... I REALI LEARNT. really. kelvin, suddenly haf the urge of wanting u to be by my side now. even u're only my fren but i dun mind.... i surrender to fate. i am seriously sad now....
left
HER
thoughts
4:51 AM;;
